A letter to bad teams


New Yankee Stadium

The following letter was sent out to the teams addressed below…

Dear Pittsburgh, Kansas City, Florida, Washington, and whoever stinks in baseball:

For nearly a decade now, several profitable teams and us have been sending you a yearly check, as a result of a tax that was imposed on us by Major League Baseball.  MLB told us that since we are the most profitable and recognizable team in America, we had so much money that we could buy players to win championships. The intent of the luxury tax, as you call it, is to balance the playing (financial) field so that you guys can be competitive buy adding a couple of players here and there.

After further review, we are considering asking MLB to dump the luxury tax and stop giving you money.  When we looked back to see whether the tax has made any major significance, it became clear that it hasn’t.  Since the tax was instituted, only Florida was the only team that made it to the playoffs.  And after they made the playoffs, the Marlins then proceed to have a fire sale because they couldn’t afford (translation = too damn cheap) to pay their players.

Kansas City and Pittsburgh, despite changing owners, building a new stadium or upgrading a stadium, your teams still stink to high hell.  Do you mean to imply to us that even though we’re cutting a check, you idiots still can’t field a competitive team?

We’re not paying for Single-A talent here.  This is Major League Baseball. To succeed in this business, you have to spend money.

It is appalling to us, as the greatest team in sports history, to continue bankrolling free money to bad teams that has no commitment whatsoever to winning.  We guess padding your economic portfolio is a higher priority than giving your fans something to root for.

We may be the “Evil Empire” to all of you, but we know how to operate an organization and we’ll go above and beyond to bring in the best talent, keep the best players, and put out a good product.

In closing, this luxury tax that we and several other teams have to pay for is an unmitigated joke.  It hasn’t made our league any better and it doesn’t promote the “parity” that you so wanted. Stop wasting our tax dollars so that you can keep making excuses for sucking.


The New York Yankees


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