The Old Man Returns

Old Man Parker

Christmas Eve 2009.  The day in which anti-climatic earns it’s term.  Last-minute shopping by procrastinators.  The family waiting for or is traveling to destinations for Christmas dinner.  Santa Claus, Rudolph, Donner, and the gang all set to pull out of the North Pole with toys galore.

And then there’s Old Man Parker.  You know the Old Man.  He makes his appearance every year.  He never fails.

From the harried Mrs. Parker, to Randy treating his dinner like a pig trough, to Ralphie dreaming of a Red Ryder BB gun,

the Old Man has to fight off the smelly Bumpus hounds.  All 700+ of them.  He then goes to war with the furnance, the Oldsmobile, and that flat tire.

It’s said that “some men are Baptists, others Catholic,” the Old Man was “an Oldsmobile Man.”  He likes his space, his Simonez, and yes, the lamp.  That lamp!  The glow of electric sex, as Ralphie called it!  You see his joy and his pain when the lamp breaks.

He’s a gruff fella, but when things seem to go awry, he goes out of the way to make sure his family have the best Christmas, even if it’s not a traditional dinner!

We salute and honor you, Old Man Parker, for making Christmas every year a worthwhile treat.

Oh, and we’ll make sure that no one, including Santa, doesn’t lay “naddafinga!” on the milk and cookies!

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