So Long #34

(Cleveland.com – Cleveland Plain Dealer)

You arrived with stuff that would make batters look foolish,

And make the Bleacher Bums whoop with hysteria.

On that fateful spring day in ’98,

You made the world notice.

Twenty Astros batters up,

Twenty Astros batters out.

There was promise that something big was going to happen,

But it didn’t go the way all of us and you had hoped.

You still battled through,

Elbow, shoulder, and arm torn and repaired.

You didn’t complain or tossed flimsy excuses,

You kept your head down and kept at it.

Today, you decided it was time,

And a legion of fans understood,

And yet feel disappointed,

Knowing you gave it the best you could.

On that final trip to the mound,

With the world watching, especially for one city,

You gave it all you got one last time,

As the last batter you faced,

Of all things, struck out.

What a fitting way to leave the mound one final time,

Ringing up a “K” as the final act of this chapter.

When your son ran to you to give you a hug,

It’s a moment that will make a somewhat forgettable season

In the city of Big Shoulders

Stand up and feel happy.

Today, you left on your terms,

Coming as a young flamethrower from Texas,

Now a gentleman who is giving and charitable,

Polished and respected.

Wherever you go from this day on,

Thank you #34 for doing all you could,

To make us Cubs fans proud.

Is Creating A “New” Job Really A “New” Job?

For as long as I can remember, the idea of creating new jobs to help resolve, or least smooth over, a struggling economy has been an interesting mystery to me. 

Just exactly, how do you “create” new jobs?  How do people who have lost jobs end up in these “new” jobs? 

Frankly, what are these “new” jobs? 

It feels as though these “new” jobs are basically the same recycled jobs we have always done, but supplanted from one place to another place.  Teacher, firefighter, desk job, or any other job we have had in the past are not “new” jobs, despite the goals to increase the number of these positions. 

They’re the same old jobs we have done forever.  Retread and recycled.

A “new” job is something that is created and has never been heard of before.  Social media strategist, new media reporter, are two that come to mind. 

I think of startups and entrepreneurs as part of the “new” class of jobs.  They are providing a service, niche or general, that is in need today.  From creating new apps for phones, or providing a new way to order concert tickets, these “new” jobs are in demand, but need to be created and shaped before they become a functional part of our daily world. 

That’s what “new” jobs, to me, is defined.  Sure, if you land a new job, it simply means you have changed locations, job title, and company.  But, is it a “new” job, or a recycled gig that someone else used to do before they left and you walked in? 

Hold Your Applause

On Wednesday, President Obama publicly came out and announced his stance on same-sex marriages.  This is a few days after Vice President Biden announced his position on it as well, but with less fanfare. 

To no surprise to me, both have said that they are in support of same-sex marriages, which was something that the LGBT community have been seeking from both men since the 2008 presidential campaign.  In the past, the feeling was that the President has been lukewarm and not “all-in” to the issue. 

Today, everyone is using words like “courageous”, “heroic”, “brave”, and others, to describe the President. 

That is all well and good, but let’s hold our applause for President Obama and Vice President Biden.  They did what they are supposed to do:  take a position that will make some people happy and some people unhappy. 

I tell you where those applauses should be given to…

…the individuals, couples, and supporters of same-sex marriages and LGBT rights who have toiled and fought in the quest to change the perception and the laws that will make same-sex marriages acceptable in our society. 

They are the “courageous” “brave” heroes who deserves your applause.  Nothing against the Prez, but what he did Wednesday pales in comparison to what groups like One Iowa, same-sex couples, and supporters have done. 

What makes them courageous and brave is that they don’t quit.  Yes, they suffered a setback when the North Carolina General Assembly, not the people who live in the state, the legislature voted against same-sex marriages.  But unlike some supporters who are throwing up their hands and giving up because one group of lawmakers said “no”, these committed individuals are persistent.  They get up after being knocked down, dust themselves off, and go at it again. 

Those who are so quick to give up and be frustrated clearly do not understand that it is a long journey, not a race.  You can’t get all 50 states and society to change overnight.  It’s not that simple.  One loss doesn’t (or shouldn’t) define your legacy.  Neither does one win.  Ask the pioneers of the Civil Rights movement about having patience and faith when they could have easily given up.  Don’t give up. 

For every North Carolina, there’s Iowa, albeit it was the state Supreme Court that made the decision in re Varnum v. Brien. 

Getting the folks in this building to support same-sex marriages is tough, but so is getting ourselves to do the same thing as citizens.

As we spend most of our time  obsessing over elected officials and campaigns, the pro-same sex marriage groups doesn’t get enough credit or full support for what they do.  Ninety minutes after the President told the country that he was in favor or same-sex marriages, over $1 million dollars were donated to his campaign. 

Don’t you think that money could have been sent to the groups who are on the front-line of changing the attitudes and working towards ensuring legal rights for lesbians, gays, bi-sexual, and transgendered individuals? 

Kenneth Weishuhn should have received your support and encouragement for coming out.  Instead, people turned on him, used cyber-bullying, and faced hostility.  He didn’t have to commit suicide because of the blowback he received for being gay.  He should have lauded for being brave for announcing he was gay. 

President Obama’s decision to support same-sex marriages isn’t as brave or courageous as some want to make it out to be.  His support, however, greatly helps in the effort to change the attitudes towards this issue and the LGBT community in general. 

Those who are not in the public eye who are supporting same-sex marriages are not celebrated and lauded.  Those are the ones we should be lauding and supporting. 

They are the real heroes of this crusade.  Let’s not forget them. 

Death threats, rejection, push back, misconceptions, and other factors are what they face every day.  And yet, they continue on with the fight.  Nothing deters them.  They know the next day is a new day to make a difference. 

What is considered “courageous” and “brave”? 

When all of us, as citizens, are willing to learn how important the issue of same-sex marriage is to the LGBT community, and the openness to support it, not just in spirit, but also financially. 

Don’t you think it’s time that the individuals, couples, and groups who are working towards changing the societal and legal attitudes towards LGBT and same-sex marriages get more of our applause for being brave, heroic, and courageous for taking the risk of doing what is right? 

It’s long overdue, if you asked me.

Suicides Are Not “Valiant”

In some way, we continue to look at suicide as “someone else’s” problem.

Until everyone is affected by it.  There are too many angles to deconstruct the suicide of former NFL All-Pro lineman Junior Seau for me to write about.

As someone who has battled depression and had suicidal tendencies a decade ago, I feel that I need to address several sub-topics within this story.

• The medical research groups that were calling Seau’s family, hours after his death, requesting to examine his brain for possible concussion damage due to playing football, frankly, was unnerving to me.  His family is grieving, and yet researchers were lining up to be the first to examine his brain for any damage.

I understand the importance of science and research, but they couldn’t wait for a few days?  That was the most disturbing sidenote of this story to me.

• For those who have already concluded that Seau’s suicide was linked to the concussions he had sustained while playing, stop it.  We don’t know if it was brain damage or not…at this point.  Not all football players commit suicide because of brain damage.  For that matter, how many Americans have suffered concussion-like symptoms and committed suicide?

Kenny McKinley didn’t take his own life because of brain damage.  He was depressed.  Gregg Doyel reaffirmed, to a point in his column Friday evening, what I wrote after McKinley’s death:  you are not less of a man if you seek help.  Did Junior Seau seek help?  If he did, was it effective?  If he didn’t, what was his reasons?  We will never know that.  Making the assumption that getting whacked in the head too many times led him to kill himself seems to be the easy thing to conclude.

And it shouldn’t. There are too many questions that has no answers to in respects to the death of Junior Seau.

• Which leads me to something that has become very disturbing pattern:  committing suicide for the noble cause of medicine.  The thought that Seau would end his life so that his brain can be examined is borderline insane, in my opinion.  Then I thought of former Chicago Bear Dave Duerson.  What would make a person end their life in the name of medical research?  It feels, to me, like a selfish act.  It’s a harsh way of saying it, but what Duerson did, was selfish.

He’ll never know what the results are.  His family will, albeit still suffering over his decision, which made no sense in the first place.

No research group or anyone conducting a study is that desperate for someone to kill themselves, so they can donate a part of their body for research.

No other person, athlete or not, commits suicide to help medical research.  They end their lives because they have either given up on life, depressed and can’t find a way to end the mental pain, or worse, to end physical pain, a la, mercy killing, that Dr. Jack Kevorkian became a household name for.

In an Associated Press story on Friday, former New Orleans Saints Kyle Turley was quoted in the following:

“Somewhere, the wires got crossed and he unfortunately decided to end his life.  But in his last moment — and I will without a doubt believe this until the day I  die — Junior Seau ended his life in a valiant way.”

- Kyle Turley, as reported by AP writer Paul Newberry

I call bullshit on Turley.  No one dies valiantly by suicide.  That is sick, and, more importantly, the most selfish statement I have ever heard.  Turley doesn’t get it.  He will never get it.  I know he has had dealt with personal and health issues, but this is a slap in the face to the families and friends of people who have taken their own lives.

And no, Dave Duerson didn’t make it easy to understand the “torture” he was going through.  Duerson and Seau made it harder to understand…and painful for those around them.

Hey Kyle, tell the families you have insulted, to their faces, that their loved ones’ suicide was a “valiant” gesture.

Junior Seau, Duerson, and others who have ended their lives are not valiant.

It’s senseless and a waste.  If Duerson was concerned about possible brain damage he sustained during his playing days, there were other ways to help with the research.

Putting a gun to your chest shouldn’t be one of them.  Ever.

• The ever-increasing lawsuits that former players are filing against the NFL has watered down the authenticity of the concussion issue.  Sadly, some of them are in it for a money grab, which makes it difficult for those who may have a legitimate case.  For those who do have a legitimate reason, they will have a harder time trying to prove their case.

It’s because they chose to play football.  No one forced them to.  They knew the risks of playing including sustaining injuries that would linger after their careers were over.  That is the cold-blooded truth, even if we choose to deny it.

If I chose to smoke and I read the Surgeon General’s warning on the cigarette pack, and I light up anyway, how hypocritical is it for me to sue the tobacco industry for something I was warned not to do, but I did it anyway?

So, this is as far as I’ll go on this subject for now.  I can’t say this enough to men who are contemplating suicide:  you are not less of man if you seek help.  Stop acting like you can handle this yourself.  Call someone, get help.  I did 10 years ago.

Why am I still here and not six feet under?  Because I didn’t want to miss family event or something a friend did.  I didn’t want to miss history take place.  I didn’t want to miss something that could give me hope.

That last sentence is what keeps me going each day.  Don’t be a selfish valiant hero.

She Did It Her Way

Pat Summitt

For those who continue to feel that it’s sad and tragic that Pat Summitt has retired due to early-onset Alzheimer’s, I would like for you to stop feeling sad about it.  Rather, smile and appreciate what you were witnessed to:  a great career. 

Name another individual who started a program from the beginning and ended up being the winningest coach, man or woman, in NCAA Division I-A basketball history?  Name another individual who became an integral part to women sports, Title IX, and the success of women as athletes?   

For those of you who felt that she didn’t leave on her terms, I think you are wrong…to a point. 

She did leave on her own terms.  Bobby Bowden, the late Joe Paterno, and Eddie Robinson, to name a few, did not get to leave on their own terms.  Despite her health situation, she made the call on her own.  No one tapped her on the shoulder and escorted her out.  I can think of two other coaches who left on their terms and did it their way:  Dean Smith and Buzz Levick. 

Keep this in mind:  there is no such thing as a perfect way to leave or to end something. 

Never was…never will. 

It is unfortunate that we may see Alzheimer’s progressively take hold of Summitt, but like the fighter she is, it’s a new rival that she now has to game plan against.  Ask Geno Auriemma, Muffet McGraw, and Kim Mulkey how it feels when they have face the coach with those cold and steely “I’m goin’ to get you sucka’” eyes glaring at you on the other side of the scorer’s table. 

Today, be happy for Pat Summitt, not sad.  For 38 winters, she did what she love:  coaching young women and guiding them to greater success.  Be happy that she was successful.  She has and will continue to live a great life, in spite of early onset Alzheimer’s. 

More importantly, be happy for Pat Summitt…because Frank Sinatra was on to something… 

…she did it her way.